Saturday, October 16, 2004

San Diego Gas & Electric

One of the benefits to having a broken brain is that I qualify for a baseline allowance increase from SDG & E. We received the letter this week from SDG & E stating that my request had been reviewed and approved and that the baseline allowance increase would be reflected in our next bill.

When I filled out the application, I thought "cool, I'm gonna get a discount on my electric bill. Woo hoo at least that's one good thing." When I read the letter, my spirits dropped a bit. I think I would rather not have a broken brain and pay a higher gas and electric bill.

I'm finding that I go through another round of grief every time I'm confronted with the reality of my broken brain. Each time the feelings are less intense and resolve themselves faster, but it still hurts.

I'm not sure that I really want to look forward to the day when confronting my broken brain doesn't hurt anymore, the full acceptance of this truth.

Today's Happy Accident: Today I'm celebrating denial. It can be a good thing from time-to-time and helps me cope while learning to accept.


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