Happiness = anxiety

Turtle went to a Padres game with some of the guys. It's the first time I've been home with River all by my lonesome. I must say, it is quite exhausting not letting a 10-week old puppy out of sight! I will be happy when River is potty trained.

The heat is still miserable. I was looking forward to work just for the air conditioning. As it turns out, there was a power outage over the weekend and the AC never kicked back on. I was in sweltering heat for over an hour before the AC was fixed. I ended up coming home early because that intense heat just wiped me out, again.

Finally, River has conked out. He has two speeds, Hyper drive and off with nothing in between.

I'm trying to figure out why I've been so despondent the last few days, I'm sure the heat is part of it. I feel a little better today, but still fairly anxious. In a weird way some of my anxiety is because I'm happy, or at least feeling secure and stable. It feels like life has given me so much good stuff, along with hurling me some real crap this year. I feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, and based upon everything that has happened this year, it’ll probably fall HARD!

Just another one of those fucked up conundrums....being happy causes anxiety. Sheesh...I really need to stop thinking so much.

Anyway, I'm just going to turn this all over to whatever is greater than myself and know that all will work out, as it should.

Today's Happy Accident: Discovering the wonders and joys of fairies.