Saturday, July 17, 2004

Angry

For the first time since my brain broke, I’ve been experiencing some real anger.  I’ve run a gauntlet of emotions; I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that I’m finally getting pissed about it!
 
It’s past 11:00 p.m. and I’m wide-awake.  I know it’s past my bedtime, I know I should go to sleep, I know this is messing up my body clock and yet, I stubbornly sit here on the computer surfing the web and goofing off because I just can’t bring myself to go to bed!  I don’t want to go to sleep!  I’m so pissed off at how tired I am and how hard it is to sleep at the same time.  I don’t want to sleep half my life away, especially now when it seems so important to experience every moment and be totally present.  I can’t help but wondering if my energy levels will ever return to normal and that just really pisses me off!!!
 
Okay, rant over time to think of my Happy Accident to celebrate for the day.  Today’s Happy Accident is one of my best friends Steve-a-reeno, who took me birthday shopping today!  AND, because of the above rant I will celebrate that I have 12 AWESOME hours a day and look forward to each hour I can add, as I get stronger!  How’s that for the glass is half full {{giggles}}.  

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