Sunday, August 08, 2004

Missing A Friend

It’s been a mixed weekend. It started off great, an informal dinner at Red’s and O’s. Red is a fabulous cook and they have the greatest outdoor set-up. They invited another couple over that Turtle and I hadn’t met before, so it was a nice mix of old friends and new.

Red and I have been friends for over 10 years and there is just something so easy and special about the connection. It’s great having that history with someone, sharing inside jokes, the gentle teasing. I love her and am so thankful for her!

Saturday morning we went to my Mommies to help her and Jaybird connect their DVD player, VCR and cable box into their new television. The TV is super cool; I don’t remember what it’s called but it’s something in between a rear projection and plasma.

Mommy and Jaybird had family over that I hadn’t had the opportunity too meet before. It was another experience of connecting with new people that was wonderful. At one point the woman folk were cooking in the kitchen and we got into an extended conversation about my broken brain and how I was coping.

Topics of the conversation got me talking about my therapist, Ann, who died a little over a year ago. My relationship with Ann spanned almost a decade. In the first few years I would see her at least once a week, sometimes two, and in the last few years I would drop in from time-too-time for what I referred to as my mental health check-ups. The first thing I would ask her is “Am I crazy yet?” She always replied, “We’ll worry about that the day you don’t ask the question.” {{giggles}}

I miss her so much, especially right now. I wish I could talk to her about my broken brain. Ann always had a way of making me feel normal when I felt completely crazy. She had a unique ability to ask me the right question and then synthesize a concept in a sentence to drive home the exact thing I needed to hear. So much of who I am today is because of her help and guidance.

Saturday night I woke up with some of the worst menstrual cramps I’ve had in years. It hurt so bad I was doubled over and crying. Turtle grabbed the ibuprofen, the heating pad and then rubbed my back for me. Of course the heating pad got the whole heat drunk thing going but that was better then the cramps.

Today (Sunday) has been spent mostly in bed reading or sleeping. I’ve found a new sleep aide in the heating pad. It puts me out like a light in about 15 minutes. The heat drunk experience is so weird. So, I’ve been a little bummed out and cranky today. I had such aspirations for the day that went unrealized. Oh well, that’s what happens sometimes. Laundry, bills, sorting through boxes in storage can all wait for another day.

Today’s Happy Accident: My time with Ann.


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