River Recovers

We got to bring River home at 3:00 pm yesterday. He was so groggy and out of it, with goop all around his eyes. When he saw us he started crying a little; all my mommy instincts kicked in and I wanted to make the pain go away for him.

When we got home, Turtle and I cuddled up on the couch with him. He started crying even more, he was so pathetic. River would fall asleep and they wake up whimpering and whining. Poor guy! But even with all that, he still went to the front door when he had to go potty--it gives me hope in the house-training department.

By this morning he was back to his usual friskiness. (And still humping Boy!) We're supposed to somehow limit his activity to just his normal walks--yeah right, tell that to a 4 month old puppy that wants to chase his big brother around!

He will be on pain medication for the next three days, which makes him a bit mellower then typical, which will hopefully aide in the healing process.

He was such a brave boy yesterday!

Sleeping Off The Snipping

Patient rests comfortably after a tough day!

Update From Dr. Schatzle

River came through the surgery with flying colors. He is resting comfortable on puppy morphine {{giggles}}. River is 8.9 lbs, which means he's gained another three pounds this month. Dr. Schatzle said he had to get his play time in with River prior to the surgery, so River got to run around the clinic and cuddled up in Dr. Schatze's lap for a bit. I think it's really cool that my beastie is one of Dr. Schatzle's favorite patients.

River will be ready to come home at 3:00 pm. I can't wait to love up my little guy!

On a side note...Cirque is enjoying a River free zone and getting in some lap time, but I think Boy is actually missing the canine usurper.

River Got Snipped Today

Before Snipping

I'm on Vacation!

Singing..."I'm on va-cation....I'm on va-cation!" I didn't have to get up at 4:30 in the flipping morning. woo hoo!!!!

"I'm only happy when it rains."

That song has been rattling around in my head for a week. I loved all the rain we had this week. I love falling asleep to the sound of rain falling, listening to a harmony of sound that creates the symphony of life. I hope San Diego will see another few down pours this year.

River on the other hand H A T E S the rain; and trying to house train a puppy that is stubbornly refusing to go outside is difficult. At one point, Turtle and I had to both take him out so that one of us could hold an umbrella over the persnickety beastie, while the other one held the leash. I think that qualifies River for the HRH title. I laughed so hard one morning watching River try to find the only 1-inch by 1-inch dry spot on our patio that he could go potty on.

A Week Long Happy Accident: Celebrating the rain. Feeling cleansed and purified.

California Stem Cell Research & Cures Initiative - Home

California Stem Cell Research & Cures Initiative - Home

If you live in California, I encourage you to vote YES on Prop. 71. This research could lead to a cure not only for my broken brain, but many other horrible diseases.

Today's Happy Accident: For the first time, feeling like I'm voting for my own special interest.

San Diego Gas & Electric

One of the benefits to having a broken brain is that I qualify for a baseline allowance increase from SDG & E. We received the letter this week from SDG & E stating that my request had been reviewed and approved and that the baseline allowance increase would be reflected in our next bill.

When I filled out the application, I thought "cool, I'm gonna get a discount on my electric bill. Woo hoo at least that's one good thing." When I read the letter, my spirits dropped a bit. I think I would rather not have a broken brain and pay a higher gas and electric bill.

I'm finding that I go through another round of grief every time I'm confronted with the reality of my broken brain. Each time the feelings are less intense and resolve themselves faster, but it still hurts.

I'm not sure that I really want to look forward to the day when confronting my broken brain doesn't hurt anymore, the full acceptance of this truth.

Today's Happy Accident: Today I'm celebrating denial. It can be a good thing from time-to-time and helps me cope while learning to accept.

Dog Park

Turtle and I have been taking River to a beautiful dog park that is about 5 minutes away from us. It's fascinating to watch the canine equivalant of a handshake, the butt sniff. The dog park has a big dog and a small dog side and we often take River over to play with the big dogs. We walk through the gate and in seconds River is surrounded by 4 huge dogs all sniffing his butt. I imagine their saying, "Howdie little guy. What's your name?" To River's credit he sniffs right back, "Hey, I'm River, lets play chase."

Today's Happy Accident: Feeling really happy that I don't have to sniff butts to introduce myself.

Highlight of My Day

Yesterday afternoon when I got home from work a big envelope was waiting for me from my sister. Well, inside was a great big stricker that says T U R T L E. I laughed and laughed! It's even sweeter because it's from my neice, which in some ways makes it even funnier.

Today's Happy Accident: Dubbing someone with a nickname that sticks. I've never done that before.

Cold Mountain

I watched Cold Mountain over the weekend, wow what a great movie. While watching the movie I realized that I'm basically a coward at heart. I can't imagine living in that time and worrying about my loved ones, and then needing to deal with the aftermath of their deaths as a woman during that time.

I'm really good at worrying about the future and what may be. I think I should focus more on the here an know. But I want to say that I H A T E death and the grief that it brings. I fear grief and I hate the selfish feeling that I've been left alone

Today's Happy Accident: Good movies (or books) that show us lessons we need to learn.

Picking Up After River

Walking River, poop bag in hand, has made me appreciate toilets and our sewer systems.

Today's Happy Accident: Toilets. I really wouldn't want to have to pick up my own s*&%.

Chatting with the Doctor

I had a consultation with an MS specialist Tuesday. In some ways it was a fruitless appointment. What made the appointment worthwhile was confirming what my intuition already knew: Dr. Wang is a great neurologist who has done an amazing job treating me.

The specialist didn't really have any different information that helped illuminate some of the strange things that have been happening to me. There's nothing, medically speaking, that can be done to treat the heat sensitivity, I simply have to avoid getting hot.

I'm not sure if I have previously mentioned the strange phenomenon I've been experiencing sitting at my desk. The window gets hot and then my face feels like I have the worst sunburn I've ever had. Thankfully, my manager has been able to assign me to a temporary workstation until a permanent resolution can be found. Yeah, no more leaving work in pain!

A Very Special Episode...

I never realized panic attacks could be so predictable. I feel like I'm my own stupid sitcom that's part of must see TV. I can hear the commercial in my head, "Tune in this Sunday night at 6:00 pm for a very special episode of Wig-out. This week, watch as Trish completely wigs-out over absolutely nothing, again."

You would think knowing it's going to happen would prevent it from happening. Fuck, is my life every going to be quassi normal again?

PMS'ing

I hate cramps! I hate being hot! In general I hate PMS.